The Story Behind Situationship

Disclaimer: This story may not be suitable for readers who value open conversations, clear communication, and security in their partners. You have been warned.

My Gel Pen,

Can you believe there are now two Alivia Hadfield songs out in the world?

(Digital screaming.)

I couldn’t be more giddy to finally have these songs in your hands. “Situationship” is already debuting on nine Spotify playlists, and hopefully, it will find its way onto a few radio stations too.

But I know that isn’t why you’re here.

No, you’re here to hear how this song came to be, you nosy Nelly.

And don’t look at me like that. We—or, well, mostly my analytics—know that you all love it when I talk about my love life or dig up a little childhood trauma.

And that’s okay. I also love tea. When I’m not flouncing around onstage, I am an aspiring reporter, after all.

So, I will indulge you, Gel Pen.

Trust me, it’s me, not you. I cannot, for the life of me, maintain an air of mystery. Instead, I have accepted my role as an open-book public service announcement.

But enough scolding.

Here is how “Situationship” came to be.

(Insert sitcom daydream music here.)

It was a dark and stormy day filled with endless brain-rotting internet scrolling as I attempted to ease the anxiety of waiting for a boy—who shall not be named—to text me back.

While surfing the internet, an unfamiliar word meandered its way through my algorithm. It was almost as if it were hoping to float directly into a tortured songwriter’s Notes app.

Luckily for that strange little word, that is exactly what happened.

“Situationship” became one of the many, many song titles stored in my phone. Every month, I would send a list of ideas away, hoping one might receive the approval that would transport this aspiring songwriter to the magical land of Nashville.

TIME SKIP: ONE YEAR LATER.

Our dear author is now sitting in a Nashville living room with two men she has never met before.

Which sounds like the beginning of a true-crime documentary, but luckily, they turned out to be awesome songwriters.

We spent the first part of the session finishing “Villain.” Then, after successfully turning one questionable romantic experience into a song, they asked what else I had on my list.

Naturally, I opened the graveyard of half-baked ideas known as my Notes app and offered up the word “situationship.”

Believe it or not, the term was much less mainstream three years ago.

I explained that a situationship is basically a relationship without a label—or any of the emotional security, communication or dignity that normally comes with one.

It is usually torture, but it can be pretty fun in the beginning, with a side of confusion and a serving of I guess we’re kissing? over easy.

The word had caught my attention because it perfectly described the situation that had sent me into that dark and stormy spiral of waiting for an unnamed boy to text me back.

There was all the excitement of liking someone without the comfort of knowing whether they actually liked you enough to call it anything.

You get the flirting, the butterflies and the occasional kiss—but also the privilege of staring at your phone and wondering whether you imagined the entire relationship.

Romance!

It was fun, hopeful, confusing and mildly torturous.

In other words, perfect material for a country-pop song.

We wrote “Situationship” in under an hour and a half.

Everything I learned during that writing session changed the way I approach songwriting today. We wanted the song to feel youthful, flirty and summery—the kind of song you can blast with the windows down while pretending you are completely carefree.

It is fun enough to dance to, but relatable enough to make you reconsider every unlabeled relationship you have ever participated in.

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Now, let’s see whether “Situationship” can follow in her older sister “Villain’s” footsteps with the awards and hype, shall we?

Just kidding.

You should never pit your children against each other.

Click the link to hear the very first version, then hit the button to add the professional recording to your library wherever you stream music.

I’m so glad you all decided to meet me at “Situationship.”

It’s rather lovely this time of year.